Goodbye Thane
by BumbleBeePixie
Summary: Thane's life is coming to an end and everyone on the Normandy has something to say about it.


**A/N:** As we all know Thane has Kepral Syndrome which is fatal. What with the celebrations after surviving the suicide mission it has been quite easy to forget about his illness. This is my take of Thane's last moments aboard the Normandy. Be warned Krios fans, this Shepard has romanced Garrus. However she has always felt an inkling of attraction towards Thane. So we shall see how that pans out. Reviews are appreciated and I hope you enjoy the fic :)

I do not own Mass effect or it's characters. (But mark my words, one day, I will.)

* * *

Shepard took in deep breath before she could summon up the courage to enter the med-bay. After everything she had faced in her life it was this situation that frightened her the most.

It had been a week since destroying the collector ship: a week since telling The Illusive Man where to stick it. Five days since celebrating at 'The Dark Star' with the crew. Four days since having one of the most shittiest hangovers. Three days since ruining the council's hope of the Reaper threat being a myth. Two days since the crew announced their devoted loyalty to stick with Shepard till the end. One day since leaving the Citadel to oversee the Reaper threat.

In all that time Shepard did not once consider how much Thane's life span was depleting. Now it was too late. Behind the door was a weak and feeble drell, at a glance the life form looked nothing like Thane. The ripe green tint that once appeared all over him was now dull and grey. His eyes were dry instead of moist while his body slowly became dehydrated.

Thane collapsed in the morning after complaining about a migraine, Chakwas was quick to the scene to find Grunt and Garrus carrying him to the med bay.

Shepard could recognise Chakwas's silver hair as she leaned over Thane examining him. She had a sympathetic look plastered over face when Thane groaned in pain. He was dosed up on heavy amounts of pain-killers and smothered in medi-gel because of all the sores that kept appearing.

Shepard was hesitant in her steps as she made her way to the bed. She placed down some green tea that Thane liked on the bedside table and took a seat next to him.

Chakwas acknowledged Shepard and took leave at her console. As Shepard fidgeted slightly Thane's gaze met hers.

"Siha..."

"Hey," was the only reply Shepard could manage.

His voice was pleading and struggling for air when he spoke. It hurt her to see him like this. It took a lot of strength to continue speaking without her voice breaking.

"Comfortable?" she tried to joke.

Thane gave a raspy chuckle before he blinked at Shepard.

"I'm not one to complain. The med-bays atmosphere is completely arid thanks to EDI." He gestured his hand towards the AI in the corner of the room. As if listening in the entire time EDI popped out of the wall coincidently.

"Your welcome Mr Krios, I am glad I could be of assistance."

If EDI could smile Shepard was sure that she would be positively beaming right now. Ever since their first encounter EDI always had held a soft spot for Thane. Reason probably being that he was the only one of the crew members that acknowledged EDI politely when he first met her.

"How are you feeling?" Shepard asked to break the silence.

Thane gave Shepard a quizzical look.

"Siha i'm dying, you of all people should understand how that feels."

He wasn't making this easy for her. Yes it was a stupid question, but what else was she supposed to say? Shepard felt helpless watching Thane deteriorate right in front of her. There was nothing she could do that would make this Kepral Syndrome go away.

She had made Joker set a course for the Hanar homeward earlier in hope of maybe finding a cure. Deep down she knew it was pointless, Joker knew it was pointless too by how he responded with, "Commander you do realise that will take five days right?" Shepard remembered replying to him with a forced nod.

She knew there was no way that Thane could last till then, and that the chances of finding a cure were slim. However she had to do something. Joker seemed to understand that much, which is why he didn't even bother to argue or complain. Everyone had been expecting this to happen and yet when it did it shocked the living hell out of them. It was like it finally hit home that Thane would no longer be on board the Normandy.

As for the dying part, Thane was right. Shepard knew what it was like to realise that death was coming for you.

When the Normandy blew up Shepard was thankful that near enough everyone had escaped with their lives. She was even was coming up with a plan that involved her not floating through space. That was until she had the suit breach of course.

Her struggling lungs burned for air for what seemed like for ever while she struggled frantically in the expanse of space.

She could see the beautiful azure planet beneath her pulling her in against her wishes. Within those achingly slow seconds Shepard had to admit defeat and accept her terrifying fate.

The theories of your life flashing before your eyes were true. She saw flashbacks of how she met all her friends, becoming a spectre, akuze and stopping Saren from destroying the citadel. It didn't bring her any peace as she began to lose consciousness, Shepard was scared, she was alone.

Looking into Thane's dewy eyes she realised that she couldn't let him experience the same fate. If he was going to...if his life was coming to end Shepard would make sure it was painless and that he wouldn't die by himself. She owed him that much.

"I have something to ask of you," mumbled Thane interrupting her thoughts.

"Anything," was Shepard's automatic reply.

Thane sighed heavily clenching his fists in a weak manner. "Kolyat is aware that my days are numbered," he began. "However I doubt he knew it would be this soon."

Shepard was holding back the tears. This was the other issue. Thane had a son, a son who was going to end up an orphan in a matter of days.

"I'm aware that I will not be able to see him before I leave this life. I wrote him a letter." Thane reached into the metallic bed-side table's drawer taking out a sealed note. He was slow with his movements trying not to cause him self unnecessary pain, before handing it to her.

"Paper?" Shepard asked confused.

Thane smiled in retaliation. "I thought it would be more personal than a standard email," he explained. "Would you please give it to him?"

"Of course." Shepard smiled back sliding the note carefully into her pocket.

She tried to not think about how painful it would be when she had to hand it over to Koylat. That hurdle could wait for now.

"Seeing as I may not have another chance to say goodbye, I have some things I wish to say to you." Thane weakly gripped Shepard's free hand that was resting on the bed.

"Thane -"

"Please Siha," he cut her off. If he was going to do this he had to do it now. He was always honest when he spoke to Shepard, yet he rarely talked about anything that he wasn't asked. He needed to do this, he needed some closure.

Thane looked up into Shepard's eyes caressing her hand in his shaky grasp.

"I have been dead for a long time Shepard, ever since what happened to.." he choked on his words as he whispered, "Irikah."

"I was trying to make the world a brighter place before my soul left my body, hoping that every deed I did washed away another one of my sins. Shepard, you gave me my redemption, something to live for. You have made my last moments worth living. When I am with you I am alive, I see someone worth trying to protect." Thane thought about what he had just said and corrected himself, "Not that you need any help with that."

Shepard grinned and tried to lighten the mood, "What can I say? Badasses don't die."

Thane gave a dry chuckle, "Now if that were true Siha then explain to me how I am in this predicament?"

"Maybe you've gone soft," she smirked.

"Maybe..." Thane half agreed letting his head rest back onto the pillow. He stared at the ceiling for a few seconds blinking rhythmically."I blame you for that," he teased.

Shepard played along and exaggerated a hurt expression on her face. "Oh so i'm the reason you have Kepral syndrome now?"

"No. But not being able to call you my own has been killing me." Thane's voice had a more serious tint to it now. His tone was distant as he gripped her hand tightly, or what was considered to to be tight to him in his inferior condition.

The drell did not make eye contact with Shepard this time. He was admittedly too nervous to observe her reaction. It had been years since he had given himself to someone. Irikah was the woman in his life who had ever had the pleasure of seeing the side of him that that didn't have his shields up.

When she was snatched away from him like a limb being torn from a conscious man's body he had recoiled back into himself.

At first Thane had found it extremely difficult to comprehend his feelings for Shepard but he wasn't a man who bathed himself in self denial.

Shepard was not Irikah, she could never replace Irikah. But the heroic commander had awakened something within him that he thought was long gone.

If that wasn't something worth embracing in his final hours then he didn't know what was.

Thane sucked in a deep stabbing breath prepared to let his words freely pour out from his dry cracked lips.

"I always looked forward to your visits, hanging off every word that escaped your lips. You took interest, you made me feel worthy of your time. For ten years I was content living in solitude, meditating without any disturbances. You changed me Siha, I craved you in your absence, I spent my free time thinking about you instead of living in memories. I never used to talk about my life, my past or Irikah. However with you it was easy to let my barriers down, throughout my stay on the Normandy I have dedicated every second to you...do remember what I told you back in Life support?"

He still wasn't facing her, which was a good thing. Shepard was completely frozen in shock over the words that were endlessly fuming out of him.

She remembered Thane hinting that he liked her, and deep down she felt that she had a mutual attraction towards him too.

What stopped her from being with him? Why did she tell Thane that she only saw him as a friend? A sudden image of Garrus fused into her mind, memories of him in her cabin before they hit the Omega 4 relay._ Oh yeah that's why._

Thane sat up uncomfortably to face Shepard when she failed to reply. His drained face was inches from hers that she could feel his thin breath upon her lips.

"Time is short for me Siha," Thane admitted with no reluctance. "But any I have left is yours to take."

Shepard could see by the way his face leaned to one side that he was awaiting a reply.

Mentally smacking herself in the face Shepard forced herself to banish her entire commander facade. If he could be that God damn honest then so could she.

"That. Was. Beautiful," she whispered letting a tear escape and run down her pale cheek.

Thane gently wiped it away with his dry thumb. "Correction: _you_ are beautiful. Any man that is loved by you Siha is blessed."

Shepard gave a gentle smile as Thane pulled himself out of her personal space and rested his hands onto his lap.

"That reminds me, how is Vakarian?" he questioned innocently.

Shepard tensed up, regardless of how genuine his words sounded it didn't stop her from feeling like she was being brutally interrogated.

_Oh God no, how did he -_

"How would I know? I'm not his keeper, he's probably in the main battery calibrating," Shepard voiced nonchalantly.

Her voice was quick and carried an offended tone. Shepard could lie through her teeth to polliticians and keep a steady voice when guns were pointed at her. Yet she couldn't for that crucial second sound truthfully unconcerned and oblivious to his underlaying assumptions.

"Siha you are a terrible liar," Thane stated not bothering to cover his smirk.

"What makes you think i'm lying?" Shepard asked trying to sound shocked. Although she was certain that she may have slightly overdone it.

"Whenever you lie your nose flares and your voice goes a little more high pitched than usual."

He noticed that? Thane was always full of surprises and she always knew he had an eye for detail. She just didn't know that he took so much of his time observing every detail of her.

"I never knew you were attracted to turians," Thane commented evilly enjoying her squirm. He was only messing around with her after all. It was a pleasant change of conversation. Thane didn't like dwelling on his death even if it was moments away.

"I don't!" Shepard spat. Thane edged himself over the bed looking confused. He blinked indicating that he was slighlty thrown off.

"So there is nothing between you and Vakarian?" he prodded.

Shepard paused trying to think of how to word herself to Thane. In the end she decided to just be honest with him.

"I don't have an attraction to turians, I have an attraction to Garrus."

Thane smiled pleasantly. It was the first time Shepard openly admitted it. She was in a very grey area of her emotions about her feelings for Garrus. He was her closest friend and had always been there for her. The hours before the suicide mission was only meant to be them both blowing off steam, but she could have swore that what they had was more intimate than just two friends fucking.

There was no time to talk about it afterwards, or during the mission. Shepard shivered when she remembered seeing Garrus take a shot to the stomach on the collector ship. It was torturous to be so pumped with adrenaline only to have your heart stop at the thought of your friend about to die.

Shepard let her mind wander onto what would have happened if anyone else was to have been in Garrus' place. The polite way of putting it was _dead_. She was so close to sending Miranda to lead the ground team. She was the XO after all and Shepard had recently learned that on a good day Miranda wasn't a total bitch. It was just 80% of the time that she was.

Garrus wore his signature blue armour on the mission. Shepard made sure to actually get it fixed for him while on the Citadel. Little did she know that the store had upgraded it. It now had blue neon lights shimmering around the armour and a much more advanced orange visor. All she asked was for them to repair the gaping hole on his chest where the missile crashed into him. Now it looked as if Shepard lured him into her bed with expensive gifts, either way Garrus was very pleased with his new armour. If Shepard recalled correctly Garrus practically bear hugged her in a tight grip, thanking her a million times for her gift. And this was before she mentioned blowing of steam, maybe the attraction was there all along.

Shepard had offered to buy Miranda some armour to try and pry her out of that ridiculous cerberus outfit. However Miranda just continued to pick out tight latex suits within the clothes departments. After fifteen minutes of explaining to Miranda that she looked like overdressed for combat, not to mention missing out on much needed protection, she gave in and bought Miranda a black outfit with a matching coat. That was best protection she was going to get.

Shepard continued to sit lost in her thoughts. If Miranda was in charge of the ground team instead of Garrus she was sure that she wouldn't have survived that shot to the stomach. Nobody could have. Garrus was renegade through and through with paragon tendencies. He could survive a rocket to the face for crying out loud. He was indestructible and just too damn stubborn to die.

"I get the feeling that you would rather be with Vakarian right now," Thane breathed pulling Shepard back into reality.

He gestured his hand weakly towards the med-bay door with a sympathetic smile. "Please, don't let me stop you."

Shepard winced at his words, had she made it that blatantly obvious that she was thinking about the turian?

"Thane I'm here to make sure your okay, I'm not leaving this room." Shepard was going to stand her ground on this one.

"As you wish Siha," he sighed leaning back onto the bed in defeat.

As much as Shepard hated to admit it Thane was right, again. It was like he could read her mind sometimes, and what with him being so straight forward didn't help situations.

"How do you do that?" Shepard blurted out.

Thane shot a weak blink of confusion towards her. "Do what?"

"Know what i'm thinking?"

A chuckle rumbled from his chest causing him to cough in an abrupt and painful manner.

Shepard quickly thrusted the warm green tea to his cracked lips forcing him to take a swig. Thane took a few gulps before purposely placing his hands over Shepards as she continued to hold the cup.

She froze suddenly, trying to regain composure and look entirely relaxed.

"Can I have my hand back?" Shepard asked with a quirky grin.

Thane gave her a light smile before releasing his grip. "My apologies."

A scoff resonated within the room causing Shepard to become tense and turn around frantically. To Shepard's dismay the laugh was coming from the speakers where Joker was not doing the best job of suppressing it.

Thane stared into space completely at ease for someone who had just found out that they were being spied on. Shepard in this particular case was quite the opposite.

"Joker!" she hissed through gritted teeth.

"Okay, first hear me out. This is completely coincidental I promise you," Joker snickered in between shy chuckles.

"I don't need to hear about how you perve on everyone on this ship Joker," Shepard retorted dismissively.

There was a silence before Joker said, "Only you Commander."

Shepard rolled her eyes dramatically and leaned back into her chair. "You're becoming more voyeuristic than EDI."

On cue the blue orb presented itself before Thane and the commander.

"Shepard I can assure you that I do not perve I observe," EDI explained monotonically.

Thane supressed a laugh while Shepard rubbed her temples thoroughly.

"EDI with all due respect would you please fuck off?" Shepard hissed, aggrevated about the damned AI always having to get involved.

"Have I offended?" EDI questioned.

Joker joined in over the speakers. "Don't worry EDI the commander is just all pissy because I happen to cock-block her whenever she is fraternising with a crew member."

Thane gave in to the strong temptation and let his laugh free. It hurt body to do so but he did his best to ignore the aches. "By Arashu you must let me in on these stories Siha."

"No!" Shepard howled back, staring an amused Thane down.

Joker intruded again on the speakers. "Commander I'm sure Krios has every right to know about your _expeditions_... " Joker chimed making a ridiculous accent near the end of his sentence. "Krios, does the name Kaiden Alenko ring any bells to you?"

Shepard let her head sink into her palms, this couldn't be happening.

On the bed Thane was rubbing his finger on his chin trying to remember who this 'Alenko' was.

"If I am not misinformed he was the human that Shepard encountered on Horizon?" Thane answered.

"True that," Joker confirmed. "So here's the thing, Shepard and Alenko go _way_ back, we're talking like still wearing Alliance uniform kind of thing, _that_ long ago."

"Joker..." Shepard warned while her cheeks became red with anger rather than embarrassment.

"Shepard, I am trying to tell a story here. Jheez," Joker innocently retaliated. "Anyway Krios, I remember when I parked my baby onto the Citadel. Shepard went to go tell the Council about the Reaper threat only to come back and tell me that we were grounded, sad times..." Joker made a sniffing noise before continuing.

"So there I was sitting there in the cockpit minding my own business when I get a call from Anderson telling me he wants to see Shepard. So innocent little me searched the ship for heat signatures, to find two of them in quite a compromising position right about to -"

"That's it Joker!" Shepard screamed. "I'm coming up there to kick your ass!"

She flung her arms in the air like a mad woman, storming towards the med- bay door in fury. That's when a problem occurred to her. Shepard quickly turned back around to look at the drell still slightly amused.

"I will be right back. I promise." She gave a reassuring smile, a smile that tended to brighten up her face and take away all the pain and heavy weight of command.

"Don't worry Siha I will be fine," Thane assured her. "While you're dealing with Mr Moreau, go and have something to drink, a little time to yourself will do you some good. That and make me feel like less of a burden."

He returned the smile aware that her expression had disappeared slightly when he mentioned feeling like a complete nuisance.

Shepard's mouth opened to protest but Thane held up his hand that felt tremendously heavy.

"Shepard please, for me," he pleaded.

And on that note Shepard nodded and hesitantly made her way through the door and out of his sight.

It pleased Thane to see Shepard out the Med-Bay, she was there day and night hardly ever interacting with the rest of the crew.

It surprised the drell that EDI actually went along with his request and convinced Joker to lure Shepard out of the med-bay.

Thane didn't do it because he no longer wished for her company, he just resented the thought of being such a heavy task on her. At least this way she got to take a breather and probably have a quick chat with Joker.

Thane would have thanked him if he could reach the elevator outside but the odds were against him. A pissed off Shepard was like a walking time bomb, and Joker sacrificed his safety to help him out. Thane appreciated it, even if Joker's methods of luring Shepard away were a bit extreme to say the least.

The slow hum of the med-bays machines were beginning to send Thane into a deep sleep. Turns out the break was doing him some good too. He was sinking more and more into the pillow involuntarily when there was a knock on the door. He continued to lay there completely still. _Who was that?_

There was no way it was Shepard, she had only just gone up in the elevator. Thane highly doubted she would come back so soon before teaching Joker a lesson anyway. He held his breath.

"Come in."


End file.
